For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
