Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
