He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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