I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize