i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
