So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
