I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
