You're so nebulous sometimes
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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