I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
