I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize