I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
