Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
