sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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