you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize