i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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