I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
