sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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