mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
