Buhtt sex?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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