The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
