I love having hate sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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