I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
