i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
