shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
