Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize