When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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