Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
