i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize