one two three fourrrrnication!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
