So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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