how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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