Your face is a jimmy john
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
