I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
