he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
