Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
