Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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