So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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