i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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