We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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