Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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