She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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