we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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