Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
