Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize