My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im holly from the hills drunk
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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