I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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