And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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