I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Mom said you looked used
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations