Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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