he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
