no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
