I didn't shave. On purpose
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
