I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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