Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
