Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
