Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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