I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize