The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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