1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
